Why HSPs Can Be Terrified Of Conflict
If there was a support group for highly sensitive people (HSP), they would probably have us start every meeting like this: "Hi, I'm Lauren, I'm a HSP and I'm terrified of conflict."
Jokes aside, I do believe this is one of the pillars of being highly sensitive. Conflict, drama, arguments and fighting can be hard on anyone, especially a HSP. Even the slightest change in tone or body language sends me into an overthinking spiral.
What's wrong? Are they mad at me? What's going on? What did I do?
Funny how they say the Universe keeps sending you lessons until you learn them. I've been sent the lesson "don't take it personally" many, many times. I'm still learning.
It is just my nature as a highly sensitive person to want things to be peaceful. Yes, I admit, I want everyone to like me. I don't like to ruffle feathers. I don't want anyone to be mad at me, even if the reason is completely irrational.
Yet sometimes, conflict is necessary. Perhaps you need to go through some conflict to become stronger yourself, strengthen a relationship or learn a valuable lesson. Maybe the person causing conflict in your life just isn't meant to be there anymore. That can be a tough pill to swallow for HSPs. Even when I know a friendship is no longer healthy, I hold onto it tightly until forced to let it go. That ends up causing more damage and negativity in the long run.
I know you probably hate conflict as much as I do, fellow HSP, but remember you can engage in healthy conflict and learn to not take things personally. I highly recommend the book "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz to help learn this lesson. My course for highly sensitive people can also help you.
Two important topics in my course for highly sensitive people is gaining support from loved ones and dealing with insensitive people and comments. It can help to explain your HSP ways to your loved ones but sometimes you will simply come across people who don't want to understand or support you. That's okay... I'll show you how to deal.
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Highly Sensitive Person Blog