Something I am realizing lately is how much we all numb ourselves. Numb our feelings. Our truths. Our emotions.
It is no secret that uncomfortable feelings are well... uncomfortable. We don't like to feel sad or angry or jealous or upset or anxious, etc.
So what do we do? We try to numb it. We turn on our TVs and binge Netflix. We pour ourselves a drink or light up a cigarette. We scroll mindlessly through our phones, aching for a notification to get that hit of dopamine.
I'm not saying all of this is so terrible. We all do it from time to time. Netflix can be relaxing. But when we engage in something to avoid uncomfortable feelings or engage in risky behaviors like smoking or excessive drinking, that's when the trouble starts.
So stop for a second and really think about it.
So what now?
Next time your trigger appears and you start to reach for your phone or go to pour yourself a drink or whatever you do, stop for a moment. Do you REALLY want to do this or are you trying to numb the emotion?
If you are trying to escape, reframe your thinking. What could be more constructive right now? How can you truly feel and release this uncomfortable feeling?
If you need some help with this, I can help with personalized 1:1 coaching. I am accepting 2 clients for July! Click here for more information & to apply.
Remember, ever let anyone dull your sparkle, especially not yourself.
Have you ever used essential oils?
They are everywhere these days, but for daily use and especially internal use, I recommend using a high quality brand like Doterra.
So why are essential oils so great for highly sensitive people?
For myself, they've helped me a lot with balancing my emotions and keeping myself healthy.
It is SO easy for highly sensitive people to become overwhelmed, unbalanced and even sick because of internal emotions and external stimuli. Essential oils can definitely help with all of that.
My favorite oils are OnGuard (it boosts the immune system and I swear it keeps me healthy when others get sick!), Peppermint (feels so good when you have any type of pain or a stomachache or headache), DigestZen (great for stomach issues), Serenity and Balance (amazing for anxiety or a calming bath) and Citrus Bliss (great for energy). Doterra also has lots of natural supplements, skin care products, hair care products, and more. I also love diffusing scents in the air while I work to maintain a relaxed atmosphere.
Visit my Doterra website here: www.mydoterra.com/laurenstewart6
“Forgive yourself for not being where you thought you would be by now.”
- Terri Cole
Somewhere along the line, society tells us to get in line.
We are basically told the "perfect" life is to graduate college, have a successful career, get married and have kids. All by age 25.
Who decided that?! Kudos to the people who have that, but it just isn't very realistic. And newsflash, not everyone even wants that.
But likely you've received rude comments from people about your lifestyles choices, whether it is your job, relationship status or thoughts on kids. You might have even started to believe you're doing something wrong for not having this so called "perfect" life.
Screw that. Don't listen to society or even your family. But the most important thing I want to share is that you need to forgive yourself for not being where you want to be yet.
Some of the most successful people didn't find their success until much later in life. You don't have to have all the answers or have everything put together by now. Or ever.
In my experience, life takes you where you need to be. The best things in my life have happened by surprise and weren't part of my "plan" or even something I was pursuing.
Take this as your reminder that you don't have to have it all figured out today. It takes time to find the career best suited for you, a long-lasting relationship or whatever you're searching for. Take it from me. I'm known to be super impatient and learn this lesson over and over.
If you want daily advice & support like this, join my closed Facebook Group for highly sensitive people.
If you are a highly sensitive person, you might know what it is like to live with some type of anxiety.
For me, my anxiety probably started when I was young and couldn't make sense of my emotions and feelings. Everything overwhelmed me. School was basically a nightmare. I could only cope when things were calm and quiet (which, let's be honest, weren't that often in school).
The strangest things set me off. Little did I know, somewhere along the line I developed emetophobia (fear of vomiting) with my anxiety. I remember watching "Matilda" in school and starting to panic during that scene where they make that kid eat all the cake. I was sure they were going to show him throwing up and I couldn't handle it. I started freaking out and was too embarrassed to say why so I made up something about not liking the movie.
Fast forward to now, at almost 28, I've definitely had my share of ups and downs with anxiety. Just because I've developed courses and am now coaching others with high sensitivity does not mean I'm perfect or am completely cured. Isn't that really what a coach is? I'm working through my stuff to help you work through yours.
So where am I going with this? I wanted to share some of my story and tell you what the #1 thing I believe helps me release anxiety. It isn't meditation or self-care or even mindfulness, even though I know all of those things can be helpful.
Read on to find out the #1 thing that I realized helps me feel less anxious...
One question I get asked a lot is something like this...
I'm a highly sensitive person & I always take everything so personally. It is starting to affect my relationships. How do I stop taking things so personally all the time?
This is a tough one. Highly sensitive people are more prone to noticing their surroundings and small changes or details. So even the slightest change in someone's tone or actions can cause a tailspin of overthinking.
Are they mad at me? What did I do? Why did they say that?
You get the picture. So how do you stop taking things so personally?
Well, do you?
Recently, I was thinking about signs. Signs can be all around you.
I decided to pick something random that I could start noticing to tell me if I was on the right path. My sign is completely random and I just chose the first thing that popped into my head.
Did I mention I chose a ladybug as a sign in the middle of winter? Kind of silly right?
But boy did I start noticing ladybugs. Not necessarily ones in nature, but all around me ladybug photos, cartoons and references started showing up.
Now, every time I see a ladybug of some sort, I feel calm. I remember I am being guided and this is where I am supposed to be.
You can also use signs to determine if you are on the right path. For example, if you are house hunting, you can pick something like a teddy bear to help you determine which is the right house for you. If you truly believe, chances are you'll probably see a teddy bear sitting on a bed in the house that ends up being perfect for you.
Do you ever use signs? What signs have you looked for? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. :)
I've recently created a FREE, mini-course on the 5 steps I use to avoid overwhelm as a highly sensitive person. I also created a video with more information on my 21 day course for highly sensitive people to learn to thrive & embrace their sensitivity.
When I get messages, the #1 thing I get asked about all the time is how to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Being a highly sensitive person can be super overwhelming. Lights, noise, other people, work, home, stress... everything affects you on a larger scale.
It doesn't matter really what overwhelms you, you can learn to manage the overwhelm and stop it when it does creep in.
That's why I created a FREE, mini-course for you with my favorite 5 steps to being less overwhelmed as a highly sensitive person.
So... do you want to learn these 5 steps to preventing overwhelm as a HSP? Sign up for my mini-course and let me know your top takeaway!
If you love the mini-course and want more from me and really want to dive deep into embracing your high sensitivity, you can also enroll in my 21 day course for highly sensitive people!
I am doing my absolute best to make my course for highly sensitive people the most accessible site, easy to use and beneficial for YOU!
I went from sending emails each day, to downloadable PDFs, to transferring my course on the website Teachable! It is now super user friendly and much more beautiful. It is now closer to the course I imagined from the beginning. You can now also make multiple payments!
Ready to take my course for highly sensitive people? Learn to love your sensitive soul!
Please share if you think someone would be interested. Thank you!
How often do you feel overwhelmed? Full of negative energy? Vulnerable to other's energy?
If the answer is often, you need to learn how to ground yourself.
Being grounded is essentially feeling connected to yourself and the Earth. Feeling secure. Living in the present moment. When you ground yourself you will often get rid of anxiety and worry.
Interested in learning more?
I am offering a FREE, 30-minute webinar on Friday, May 12th at 1 pm EST. Sign up now to join! Even if you can't join at that time, sign up and you'll receive a replay.
Click here to sign up!
Chances are you've never heard of emetophobia. If you have, likely you or someone you know struggles with it. Long story short: It is an intense fear of vomiting. Even sitting down to write this article gives me a sense of anxiety.
I still don't know the exact age or reason that my phobia developed. Yes, I've been sick a few times in my life and it could perhaps have stemmed from a time when I was very young and sick and hallucinated from being so dehydrated and had to get a shot in my butt to make me stop throwing up.
In elementary school, my anxiety would kick into high gear whenever someone got sick in class. I remember a specific time in music class in 2nd grade. I think after that was when I would cry every summer before school started again. I didn't want to go there. Kids are very germy and I was in constant fear to see or hear someone get sick. I remember watching "Matilda" in school and I started panicking because of of the characters is forced to eat chocolate cake and I thought they would show him get sick. Even as a kid, I knew this panic and fear was irrational. I thought people would make fun of me or dismiss it, so I wouldn't give anyone a true reason why I was so upset. Looking back, it just made everything so much worse and I looked that much crazier.
At 27, yes, I am a fully-functioning adult, but this phobia follows me every day of my life. I scrutinize my food and have been made fun of for being picky with food. In reality, I have "safe foods" that I tend to stick with. At times I try new foods, eat something I am unsure about or eat out at restaurants, but then I have to deal with the anxiety that comes after. What if I get sick? What if that food was bad? What if someone who handled it carried a germ that will make me sick? Most of the time it is a low level anxiety that no one really knows about, except me. Most of the time it is me bargaining with myself to just eat something and then being hyper focused on my body for the next few hours, only feeling "safe" until I get hungry again.
Sometimes though, it turns into a panic attack. I am extremely aware of how my body feels. Whenever something feels off, especially my stomach, cue anxiety again. I'm not sharing any of this to make you feel bad for me or give me advice or anything... I am sharing in hopes I can make others who suffer feel less alone. It is a very scary thing to be essentially terrified of one thing that goes along with so many things... other people, food, my own body, etc.
A while ago, I spent a lovely afternoon with a few friends. One of them told me she was ill the next day. The three of us were in close proximity and ate at the same restaurant that afternoon. Cue panic... I immediately started panicking and crying, fearful I would get sick too. I had pretty bad anxiety for about a week until I realized I was fine and didn't catch anything from her. Funny how you start making up all these rules in your head... what are safe foods and what aren't, safe restaurants, how long until you can relax after being around a sick person, etc.
So for all of the people who have judged me over the years... no I am not anorexic nor have I ever been, but this is why I am a picky eater, why I generally burn food (especially meat) when I cook and probably why I'm so anxious all of the time. For most of my life, I didn't know I was experiencing a phobia with a name that other people experience as well. I just thought I was crazy and learned how to hide it.
You never know what someone is going through behind closed doors or what goes on in their head. I hope that I can reach someone else with this horrible phobia to make them feel less alone. Unfortunately, even with all of my self-development work and learning to embrace my highly sensitive ways, I still experience trouble with this phobia and anxiety on a daily basis. I routinely have nightmares or flashbacks about it. But hopefully one day I will be free of it. Whatever you're going through, I know you can get through it too.